


talk too much

by Ink_stained_quills



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, Gay William "Dex" Poindexter, M/M, Oblivious Derek, POV William "Dex" Poindexter, Swearing, a bit of texting, and he'd wish it was someone else's pov if he knew, but barely so be forewarned, chatfic, dex is very gay and tired, i don't say it but i typically hc nursey as pan so we'll go with it, like dex uses swearing as an art form, like honestly about so many things, that's where half the characters come in
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:07:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28247391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ink_stained_quills/pseuds/Ink_stained_quills
Summary: Will empties his pencil case over Nursey’s head.One of them pokes him in the eye, and Will feels bad about it for about a minute until Nursey scowls up at him and sputters: “Dex.Chill, bitch.”“Oh my god,” Will says, struck dumb.  “How does that make any sense.”Amidst his sudden feeling of personal victimization, Nursey gets up and sulks out the door, probably to beg some pie off of Bitty.  Will, however, is stuck standing next to their bunk bed, replaying the way Nursey’s face moved when he said the wordbitch.In which Dex sees how many how many times can he make a very obvious comment before Nursey realizes something’s going on, and Nursey says one (1) curse word before Dex hits peak gay
Relationships: Chris "Chowder" Chow & William "Dex" Poindexter, Derek "Nursey" Nurse/William "Dex" Poindexter
Comments: 16
Kudos: 197





	talk too much

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from the song "Talk Too Much" by COIN. Because, ya know. Anyways, this all came about because of that thing that ‘omgpoindexter’ said about Nursey adding ‘bitch’ to his sentences when he’s pissed off.
> 
> T is for swearing. Duh. But seriously.

Will likens Nursey to a star, when he’s feeling poetic. He exudes light, a calm that prickles at Will’s skin, shining outwards until there’s nothing left to shine. Then he collapses into himself, folds until he’s utterly self contained, and explodes again. Sometimes Will winds him up, because when he’s exploding at least he’s reacting _out_.

He only thinks like this when he’s feeling poetic though. So never. That’s Nursey’s thing.

What Will usually thinks about Nursey is that he’s annoying as fuck, but Chowder doesn’t want to hear about that. The issue isn’t that _Will_ doesn’t understand (well, not anymore - he’s a _sophomore,_ damn it), it’s that Nursey is still convinced Will doesn’t get it.

“One of my friends needs a date to a dance,” Nursey mentions offhandedly, flicking through apps on his phone. That’s another irritation that lodges under Will’s skin - the fact that a single conversation isn’t enough to hold his attention.

He types another line of code, nodding. “And this has to do with me how?”

“I wasn’t asking you to go with him, Pointdexter,” Nursey retorts, scowling, and flops down on his bed. “I was just _making conversation_ , something you never do.”

“I’d go if he’s cute,” Will replies, not looking up.

Nursey glare at him. “Don’t be a jerk.”

Reason number seventy five Will gets annoyed with his roommate, fellow defenceman, and person with whom he’s forced to share his best friend: he still thinks Will is homophobic.

This is. Well. In light of their first year, this is a somewhat valid viewpoint. Will (despite the fact that he chose this school knowing its reputation) hadn’t had the chance to unlearn some rural Maine viewpoints, and acted accordingly. However, since coming to Samuell, he’s had time to override opinions that weren’t exactly his own, like casting off an ill-fitting shirt.

Of course, this has turned into one of Will’s greatest games: how many times can he make a very obviously gay comment before Nursey realizes something’s going on?

The more he ramps it up, the more money the rest of the team owes him - and if he’s making money off obliviousness, Nursey is the greatest source. For someone so observant, it’s astonishing how far things can go with no reaction. Case in point.

_**Chat: SMH smh my head** _

_**Dex:** has anyone watched love, simon?_

_**Bitty:** OH MY LORD_

_**Bitty:** I WILL BAKE YOU THREE PIES IF YOU WATCH WITH ME RIGHT NOW_

Across the room, Nursey checks the group chat, and chokes on his own spit. 

“Uh,” he says delicately, “you know what that movie’s about, right?” 

“I have the internet, Nurse,” Will snorts, flashing a wikipedia summary at him. 

Nursey nods. “Cool. Okay, yeah. What?” 

_**Dex:** $2.50_

_**Holster:** nursey, you are my brother from another mother_

_**Holster:** but you are killing me_

_**Bitty:** leave the frog alone, he doesn’t know what he’s doing_

_**Lardo:** im gonna strangle him tho_

_**Nursey:** :,,,,( _

_**Nursey:** lards, why_

_**Dex:** For unrelated reasons, please do_

_**Jack:** You guys never tell me, what is this about?_

_**Bitty:** oh honey_

_**Ransom:** can anyone else never get over the way jack texts_

_**Jack:** How do I text?_

_**Ransom:** bruh_

_**Shitty:** grammar my man_

_**Shitty:** its an illusion anyways_

_**Chowder:** Don’t you need grammar to become a lawyer?_

_**Shitty:** dont remind me_

_**Jack:** Chowder texts exactly like I do!_

_**Holster:** if we make fun of chowder, bitty takes pie privileges_

_**Holster:** and that’s not a life we want to live_

_**Dex:** anyways my venmo is open_

_**Lardo:** WHY DID WE AGREE TO THIS_

_**Bitty:** because Dex fixes Betsy_

_**Ransom:** because we had more faith in nursey than we should have_

_**Nursey:** still confused_

_**Nursey:** ????_

_**Nursey:** hello?_

_**Lardo:** you’re losing me too much money_

_**Lardo:** you’re no longer permitted to speak_

_**Nursey:** i hate this family_

Will’s lips twitch, and Nursey throws a pencil at his head. When Will grabs his pencil case to retaliate, Nursey yelps and throws himself behind his backpack, using it at a shield. His legs stick out, unprotected, and Will flings an eraser at him. Nursey has long legs, more elegant and less gangly than Will’s, and they look better in jeans (annoyance number thirty six). 

_Annoyance number ninety nine: Nursey is hotter than Will._

Closely followed by annoyance ninety nine are annoyances one hundred, one hundred and one, and one hundred and two - Nursey is hot, full stop, Nursey is completely off limits, and Will (impossibly, improbably, unwisely) kinda likes him. The stupid bastard. 

Will empties his pencil case over Nursey’s head. 

One of them pokes him in the eye, and Will feels bad about it for about a minute until Nursey scowls up at him and sputters: “Dex. _Chill, bitch._ ” 

“Oh my god,” Will says, struck dumb. “How does that make any sense.” 

Amidst his sudden feeling of personal victimization, Nursey gets up and sulks out the door, probably to beg some pie off of Bitty. Will, however, is stuck standing next to their bunk bed, replaying the way Nursey’s face moved when he said the word _bitch_. 

__.  
.  
._ _

“Did you know Nursey could swear?” he demands, sprawled out on the floor of Chowder’s room. It’s a position he took many a night when he and his siblings would gather in their eldest sister’s room, trash talking and doing homework. It’s comforting and familiar, and after the events of last week he feels adrift. 

Chowder pulls a face. “I’ve never really noticed him do it in English before.” 

“He swears in other languages?” Will whines. Chowder looks at him funny, flicks him on the forehead, and beams. 

“Sure,” he chirps, spinning a pencil between two fingers. The overall effect is adorable. The world does not deserve Chris Chow. Neither does Will, but he’s willing to accept the universe’s mistakes. “Nursey chirps the other teams a lot in Spanish.” 

__“That’s chirping,” Will refutes, holding up a finger. “He looked me in the eyes - into my _soul_ , Chow - and called me a bitch.”_ _

Chowder types something into his phone. Moments later, he holds it up to display a youtube video. 

“One time she punched me in the face,” Bethany Byrd confesses to the camera. “It was awesome.” 

“Mean Girls can’t fix this,” Will mopes.

Chowder gasps, stroking the phone. “He doesn’t mean it, Bethany! He’s under a lot of emotional distress right now.” 

“I’m gonna go eat whatever Bitty’s making,” Will decides, lurching up from the ground. “Want anything?” 

“I’m good,” Chowder waves him off. “... but I might rewatch Mean Girls in your absence.” 

“Go for it,” Will tells him, and ventures downstairs into the kitchen. 

“Dex!” Bitty hums, swooping around the counter to hand him a bowl. “Mix that, would you?” 

Will obediently stirs the batter as his upperclassman pulls an infinite amount of trays out of the oven. As he mixes, Bitty presses a single finger into a cookie. When it springs back what Will can only assume is a sufficient amount, Bitty beams and switches the oven off. 

“Give them a few to cool, then I’ll offer 'em up for grabs.” 

_Thanks,_ Will wants to say, but what comes out instead is “Has Nursey ever sworn around you?” 

_Great, Will,_ he thinks to himself. _Let everyone know how obsessed you are with him, clever idea._

“Well, gosh.” Bitty frowns. “I can’t say he has, which I appreciate.” 

“Cookies!” 

Will stands up straight, instinctively whirling to Nursey’s voice. He drops his coat over the couch, earns a reprimanding look from Bitty, picks it back up and places it in the coat closet. With a finger wiggle, he snags a cookie. 

“They’re still cooling,” Will warns him, bristling. If he’s just going to walk into a conversation and take cookies Will is waiting on, _politely_ , then he’s gonna get a little shit for it. 

Nursey winks. “Luckily, I’m hotter than the cookies.” 

He sticks the cookie in his mouth, chokes, and burns his tongue. Will hates him. Nursey walks to the sink, stretching, and his shirt rides up, which shouldn’t make Will hate him any less. But there you go. 

Bitty pats his arm sympathetically. Maybe he should move to Australia. 

“What’re you looking at, Pointdexter,” Nursey jabs, except he’s washing his tongue with cold water, so it comes out more like “Waa ah joo logging ah”. 

Will raises a single eyebrow. “A dumb-” - he glances at Bitty - “-dumb, idiot.” 

“At least I don’t have red hair,” Nursey snipes back, mouth glistening. Will itches to wipe it off. “And wear flannel.” 

“Those are just descriptors,” Will snaps, throwing a towel at him. “Wipe your face, you look like a drooling baby. And get better insults.” 

“You’re stealing lesbian culture.” 

“Girls aren’t really my thing, I’ll get my own culture.” 

From the corner of his eyes, Will can see Bitty readying his wallet. Nursey sticks out his tongue. “If you were half as funny as you think, you’d be twice as funny as you actually are.” 

“Five dollars,” Will says, pointing at Bitty without turning his head. “The only culture _you_ possess is bacteria.” 

“You’re not pretty enough to be this stupid,” Nursey fires back, which makes Shitty yell something about misogeny. 

Will splutters, resisting the urge to check if his ears have taken on that ugly flush of anger, and wishes he was wearing a hoodie. Knowing he’s not attractive is one thing, but having _Nursey_ tell him that? “Whoever told you to be yourself gave you awful advice.” 

“Chill,” Nursey mutters, wounded. “... bitch.” 

“Derek Nurse!” Bitty gasps, probably taking in several bugs on his inhale, and Nursey books it. 

“I told you,” Will whispers, a destroyed man. “What the heck.” 

___._  
.  
. 

It takes another week before Will goes, feet dragging, into their room to apologize to Nursey. Upon reflection, he’s realized that sore spots were hit by _both_ of them, and one of them is going to have to give in. Chowder is adamant that it has to be today, because he wants the three of them to watch a movie together tomorrow night. 

“... so,” he begins, swiping dust off his desk. “I guess an apology might be in order.” 

Nursey eyes him suspiciously over a book that looks like it contains every poem ever written. “I guess.” 

“I’m sorry, yeah?” Will grits his teeth. “You can stop loudly quoting _Solitude_ now.” 

“... sorry,” Nursey replies, shoulders slumping. “You can stop ‘forgetting’ to plug in your headphones now.” 

“Half of that was unintentional,” Will admits, and Nursey exhales a bit out of his nose, almost like a laugh. 

“I’ll just have to add that to the list of things that annoy me about you,” Nursey waves a pencil, loudly reading aloud as he writes. “Will… not… plug in… headphones.” 

Usually, Will would turn this into a fight. Usually, he’d fire back with something devastating like “Well you’re a dick”. Usually, he’d make plans to play the most on-brand pop music he could in order to break Nursey’s eardrums. 

_However, the three brain cells he has left are occupied with processing the fact that he and Nursey have _lists of things that annoys them about each other._ _

__

In response, he pulls out his own notebook. “Annoyance number one hundred and ten.” 

__

Nursey’s head snaps up, and Will fights the flush running down his neck. “Has a notebook of things I annoy him with, like a pretentious asshole.” 

__

“Two can play at that game,” Nursey crows, scribbling down another note. Sniggering, Will continues writing nonsense, the two of them flinging eraser crumbs at each other. Finally, he lets the notebook drop to the floor. 

__

Nursery looks down at it. “Uh. You think I’m hot?” 

__

“ _No,_ ” Will hisses, jolting up as if electrocuted. 

__

“It kinda seems like you do,” Nursey replies unsteadily, flipping through the pages. Will covers his face and wishes for death. “Oh. _Oh._ This is pretty far to go for a joke.” 

__

“ _Oh my god,_ ” Will wails, “Everyone here owes me a hundred dollars. You’re the worst.” 

__

_You’re the bitch,_ Will thinks vindictively, and leans forward to kiss him. The fucker. His lips _are_ soft, and his skin is really nice, and is there _nothing Derek Nurse can’t do except take a hint._

__

“... you’re serious,” Nursey mumbles when they pull away, and Will wants to strangle him. “Chill.” 

__

“I swear to god -” 

__

“Chill, bitch,” Nursey says again, grinning, and Will decides that the only way he’s going to get through college is by kissing him every time he talks. 

__

**Author's Note:**

> First thing I wrote for this fandom,,, and it's not Jack n Bitty? Like there's NONE??? I might never write for this fandom again and this is what I do. Huh. I just love this webcomic idk it's been years of reading
> 
> tumblr: socially-acceptable-username
> 
> Comments are appreciated, if I get enough of a response I'll prob'ly write check please again


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